The reception of the horror-satire of The Stepford Wives in 1975 was mixed, to say the least.
Betty Friedan herself—whose ideas about the dangers to women of suburban life in The Feminine Mystique clearly inspired both the novel and the film—roundly condemned the film, seeing it as a mockery of feminism.
Apparently, she stormed angrily out of the screening room when she saw it.
Feminist Lois Gould called the movie “junk” but said flippantly that she’d be happy to have a robot housekeeper.
But not all 1970s feminists had the same reaction. Feminist critics Gael Greene and Eleanor Perry praised the film for what they judged to be its obvious feminism. To them, it satirized and villainized men for wanting women to be automatons who served them snacks and sex.
Mainstream critics like Roger Ebert also saw it as a feminist triumph, noting that “[The actresses] have absorbed enough TV, or have such an instinctive feeling for those phony, perfect women in the ads, that they manage all by themselves to bring a certain comic edge to their cooking, their cleaning, their gossiping, and their living deaths.”
Even the film’s crew insisted the film was, if anything, “anti-men” and not “anti-women.”
The Stepford Wives is a story set in a town where women not only lack equal rights, but any rights at all. They have no autonomy over their bodies, no choices, no nothing, because they are dead and replaced by robots. By devising a world in which women are stripped of their rights entirely and replaced by robots, Stepford Wives takes the fantasy that the anti-ERA proponents seemed to believe in—women were wholly satisfied by domestic life and labor, satisfied to live at the pleasure of their husbands—and makes it horrifying and dehumanizing.
Alas, the horror of Stepford, both novel and film, was prophetic. It presaged the ultimate failure of the ERA in 1982. By then, even with a three-year extension on the original timeline to ratify, a group of states stood firm in their opposition: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Utah, and Virginia. Despite its wildfire approval in the heady early days of 1971-73, the ERA withered on the vine and died. It withered and died in part because Americans just couldn’t get comfortable with how women’s equal rights might change how we live our lives, might change the role of women in the home, and might undermine the power that men have over women. Better a bot than an equal citizen before the law.
If that doesn’t strike you as horror, you need to look around, because this retrograde mania is ongoing. It took until 2020 for the required thirty-eighth state to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment, but as of early 2025, the American Congress has still not made the amendment into law. The reasons?
First, the original deadline for ratification had lapsed years before. Second, several states have moved to rescind their own prior approval. We are still living in the aftermath of 1970s feminism, however much we might want to believe we have moved beyond it. We are still living in a culture that is profoundly ambivalent about the fundamental question of whether to grant women equal rights under the law. We are still living in Stepford. 2025 is looking a whole lot like 1975.
Now, again, in the third decade of the twenty-first century, the trad wife phenomenon speaks hauntingly to that truth. Honestly, when I see trad wife content on TikTok or YouTube, I often think they must have studied Bryan Forbes’s film in order to cultivate the vocal traits they exhibit in their voice-overs. It’s uncanny. Trad wife influencers speak in dulcet and strangely robotic tones to narrate their processes of making jam or breakfast cereal from scratch, just like the women of Stepford. Also like them, the trad wives lionize and fetishize domestic labor as the be-all and end-all of what it is to be a woman. Trad wife media also fetishize female sexual pliancy and physical beauty as things that married women owe to their men, as a constitutive part of their contribution to the functioning of the family. On top of that, they often dress in pioneer-chic clothing, looking very similar to Bobbie or Charmaine after they are roboticized. By trying to seem like the ideal, peaceful, beatific, and perfectly coiffed wives and mothers, these influencers have found a way to market a vision of a “lost” family culture now newly resurrected in a modern America that is aching for moral absolutes. They sell wholesomeness and homespun lifestyles by packaging those ideas every bit as prettily and tidily as the Men’s Association packaged its renovated “women.” Eerily, these influencers often have hundreds of thousands—and sometimes millions—of views and likes.
Trad wives are creating a culture of spectacle around the domestic sphere and around old-fashioned modes of cooking and living. Trad wives don’t want equal rights. They want only those privileges that are attendant upon being the helpmate and servant of the heads of their households. They want to embody the values of the Men’s Association in Stepford. And they are gaining popularity day by day, inaugurating a new pioneer frontier for women’s rights, which is the right to have no rights beyond what rights are offered up through the generosity of the male head of household. We are living, right now, in a social media deluge of regression-which, in itself, reflects the very now, in a social media deluge of regression – which, in itself, reflects the very real political regressions we’re living through simultaneously. And we, like Joanna, should be screaming and trying to get out. Because it is absolutely the case that, when the domestic sphere is radically divided according to sex and gender like this, the rates of gender-based domestic violence and sexual assault in the home skyrocket—as the film makes plain with Walter’s assault on Joanna on the stairs.
In fact, throughout most of American history, the idea that a woman lived under the rule and rod of her husband entailed the idea that she owed him sex on demand. This idea was so utterly baked into American social and legal culture that it was not possible to convict a man for raping his own wife.
Instead, the going assumption in culture and at law was that a man had a right to sex from his wife, and that if he had to extract sex from her by force, that was unproblematic. This “marital exemption” for the husband from being prosecuted for rape remained on statutes books in the United States until 1993, although individual states started revoking the marital exemption as early as about 1980.
If we really want to fetishize an old-timey domestic power dynamic, in which the wife is subordinate to the husband and obedient to him, we need to be very clear about what we’re endorsing. We’re endorsing the sexual and domestic automatism of Stepford, and we run the risk of returning to a world in which a women couldn’t even bring a suit for sexual violence against her husband, let alone have a prayer of winning it.
Making jam from scratch may seem a far cry from sanctioning marital rape-and, on its own, it is. But when the making of jam gets conflated and confused with a sexual subordination ideology about what a woman owes a man in the domestic sphere, well, at that point, the distinctions start to get a little blurry. And that’s what Ira Levin knew in his novel, and what Bryan Forbes amplified in his popular film:
Making the jam and keeping house are fine and good so long as they don’t come with a rider about being an automaton who exists only for the pleasure and satisfaction of a man. Once that starts happening, you’re living-again—in the dystopian domestic horror of Stepford.